24 June – Information Even “Project Fear” Won’t Share…

Following a UK referendum result indicating a majority wish to leave the EU, apparently this is what we may expect:

1. The EU will declare a no fly zone for all aircraft routed into or out of the UK. Expect delays and longer and more expensive flights as a consequence.
2. All funding of projects by the European Investment Bank (EIB) will be frozen, effectively stopping all major planning and construction in the UK until the EIB has been repaid, in full and with interest.
3. France will block the Channel Tunnel approaches to prevent traffic, and then use bull-dozers to herd all occupants of “The Jungle” into the tunnel with just 2 days supplies. The French end of the tunnel will then be sealed.
4. All UK citizens with holiday homes or retirement properties in EU countries (Spain, France, Greece etc.) will be rounded up and placed in internment camps until arrangements have been made to repossess their properties.
5. The Scottish Assembly will announce the date of a new referendum on Scottish Independence, with the SNP majority stating that they wish to remain part of the EU.
6. Alex Salmond will be announced as the next President of the European Parliament.
7. The banks and other financial institutions in the square mile will hold emergency board meetings and announce plans to relocate to Frankfurt forthwith. All FTSE 100 companies, scientists and members of the Labour party can be expected to follow the money.
8. The USA will announce a new “special relationship” with Germany.
9. The Conservative 1922 committee will meet to discuss whether a new moat around the UK could be funded out of expenses.
10. David Cameron will send Boris Johnson a pig’s head with a note reading “You know what to do, you b’stard.” But Johnson will return it with his own note “Audentes fortuna iuvat”.

TheStickler wishes to make it abundantly clear that he does not understand the concept of irony.

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