Spatial Awareness Is A Function Of Area…
TheStickler would like to advance a theory, and it’s controversial and will surely irritate those it targets. But, with no apology, here it is:
The smarter London districts contain the least spatially aware inhabitants.
There’s a caveat, because somewhere like Westminster or Kensington which has a high ratio of tourists to residents might appear to buck this trend, but dig a little deeper, stay clear of the obvious tourist traps, and a pattern becomes clear.
Let’s go back almost 75yrs for a moment. The spirit of the Blitz, everyone pulling together, facing a common challenge as one, was reported by many commentators at the time. Was it the common enemy that crystallised this cohesion? Fast forward to Britain in 2016, and there’s no real enemy, no uniting force, and it does seem to be every man (and woman) for him/herself. Nowhere does this manifest more clearly than in the mundane exercises of every day life, the most obvious example perhaps being shopping.
Head down to M&S in a posh London borough and you’ll see this in action. Henrietta (the over-stressed mum with 3.4 kids) has Rory perched on the largest trolley available, while Camilla and Rupert are dragged around the aisles. Do not attempt to pass in the opposite direction, it’s far simpler to circumnavigate the whole section and approach from the far side. The fun really starts when Henri’ meets Emma and her tribe coming the other way.
It’s more fun than a good episode of BattleBots. Just stand back and watch while the trolleys go head to head, the children are forced into the freezer cabinets or under the feet of innocent bystanders, and the faux “Oh, excuse me”, “No, excuse me!” exchanges are trotted out on autopilot.
Now repeat the exercise in a poor borough. Shazza can’t afford the £1 for the trolley and two of her kids have been taken into care, so it’s a simple matter to herd the remaining three around the Germanicly efficient (with wider aisles too!) superstore and collect the weekly shop. Bumping into a mate, they exchange the ritual pleasantries but at no point does the whole aisle jam up, no-one even thinks of having to walk around the obstacle, and above all, people give way to one another with a kind of world-weary “we’re all in this together and no-one especially enjoys it” attitude. When one of the kids drops a load of shopping on the floor, people rally round and help pick it all up.
Back at M&S on the other side of town the boys in blue have rolled up because Hermione was overheard telling Ludovic what she intends to do to him in the school playground the following day, and a “thoughtful” fellow shopper has quickly dialled 999 on her mobile without losing her place in the queue at the fresh fish counter.
It’s a sign of the times but it’s sad that those best placed to help those who need that help most will be the last people to even notice there’s a problem, let alone do anything about it.
TheStickler has a solution however. Simply utilise one of the excellent delivery services and venture out at night, when getting trolleyed takes on an entirely different meaning. It could even be fun!
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