The Back Stop’s Here!
So the DUP has the government by the proverbialls (sic) and is threatening to disrupt the budget (effectively a no-confidence motion by another name) if Northern Ireland ends up with any differentiation in the Brexit arrangements. Quite right too…. what is the point of a United Kingdom if some parts are more united than others?
But TheStickler has been thinking…
Let’s make a counter offer. Instead of a “soft (or wet) border” in the midst of the Irish Sea, let’s reflect on the lessons of history. Tudor Britain had a good thing going with a largish chunk of France, and we can even take some inspiration for the proposed new territory of “Equitaine” – a customs fudge par excellence where all traffic passing through can be electronically inspected and tagged to whatever extent is needed give your average Eurocrat wet dreams in perpetuity. Sealed containers for transit through the Celtic realms, and Bob’s your Auntie’s live-in Lover (we must try to keep a la mode).
No transition period required, which we all know is total nonsense and simply politico-speak for “kick it into the long grass”. Technology will come to our rescue (after several reboots and a 10 fold increase in budget) , and anyhow, partitioning France seems eminently more reasonable than messing around with Ireland, at least both sides of the partition will remain Catholic and anyone who’s studied any history at all can tell you that you really do need a generous dollop of religious hatred to get any decent scale war going… So Vive La France mes braves – the future is clear. Heck, Caesar divided the place into three, we’re doing them a favour with a simple bifurcation.
And now let those Eurocratic Numpties ask themselves why, when I can virtually guarantee their immediate reaction to such a plan will be shock horreur, they can possibly, and apparently seriously, propose that doing the same thing to the UK, and indeed to Ireland as a whole, is any better? Perhaps then the cent will drop in Brussels and they’ll understand the issue.
But maybe they’ll just agree to partition France – let’s face it it’s not the first time the Germans have done that. Let’s just see to what Merkel depths they might descend? Sieg Heil? One sincerely hopes not. There are other lessons from history to be considered here too. Perhaps some context, and some scale is relevant. So let’s have a nice clean fight for supremacy eh? And then let the French lose as they always do.
Meanwhile St Theresa tries to cosy up to Brussels with her calamitous worst-of-all-worlds Chequers bodge. The longer we allow idiotic notions such as splitting up the UK to get media space the more foolish we appear to be. Can you imagine Macron’s response to the prospect of “Equitaine”? Of course he won’t permit it, it’s daft. But is it any more daft than the idea currently being mooted as some sort of indefinite duration back stop? Not in the slightest. And that’s the point.
But think of the collateral benefits should this hare-brained scheme see the light of day… Fortunately the best bits of France will remain resolutely French. The capital will have to be relocated of course, and suddenly La Defense will look a whole lot less attractive to those City financiers threatening to decamp southwards. Frankfurt’s gain perhaps? We shall see…
Meanwhile buy shares in “smart containers” because wherever this virtual border ends up being drawn, that’s the solution. TheStickler will take his usual modest 10% for giving you all a good tip… payable in Guineas if you please.
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